He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
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when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
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Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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