Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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