Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I met the friendliest cop last night
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize