Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
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you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
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You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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