He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize