my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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