over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize