i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize