so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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