It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize