It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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