Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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