I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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