Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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