The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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