The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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