That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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