Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
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you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
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thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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