You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize