I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize