HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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