She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize