Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
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I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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