I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize