I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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