every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Of course I have a pirate flag
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize