I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize