How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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