Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
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This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
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I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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