My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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