dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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