I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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