Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize