Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
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In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
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I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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