were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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