What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
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so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
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I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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