I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize