I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize