why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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