I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
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