I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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