The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
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the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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