a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
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What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
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You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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