Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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