If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize