She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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