just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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