Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize