Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Success! We fucked roommates!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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