you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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